MY MOTHER SAI

Ms. Lakshmi Rahul, a microbiologist who currently resides in Kerala, India with her daughter was born in a household which was dedicated to the service of Bhagawan. Her husband, Shri. Rahul Raj works in Dubai and is an active member of the Sai Hridayam family. Ms. Lakshmi has had opportunities to perform before Bhagawan in the Poornachandra auditorium as part of the Kerala cultural programme offering to Bhagawan.  Both Lakshmi and her husband are good singers and are active members of the bhajan group of the Sai organisation.  Her fervent prayer to her Mother Sai is that she should always be blessed with opportunities to serve Him and she derives great joy while doing His seva.

Read on to know the heart touching experience where the Divine Mother took over the role of her physical mother and granted her happiness unlimited.


The era of the advent of an avatar is no ordinary time. Lucky are we to be chosen by Him to be His contemporaries. I believe it must be by the merits I have acquired in my previous lives that I was born in a family in which Bhagawan was their Master. I was fortunate to be nurtured by my parents who inculcated in me the human values through Balvikas and other Sathya Sai Organisation activities. To me, the greatness of Bhagawan’s power doesn’t lie in His miracles but in His unsullied love through which He transforms the human minds. No one can comprehend the compassion He showers during the turmoil of life to assure that He is ever with His children!

It was indeed Bhagawan’s divine will that brought my husband, Rahul into my life since my only wish while thinking of a groom was that he should be a devotee of Bhagawan, so that I need not have to face any hindrance to continue in His fold. As I had wished, Swami blessed me with an ardent devotee of Him as my husband. He was also a member of the Kerala state bhajan team and Bhagawan showered His love on him, by materialising a chain for him during the youth conference held at Puttaparthi in October 2007.      

THE DIVINE MOTHER’S ASSURANCE

Soon after my marriage, I lost my mother in an unfortunate road accident. This incident happened amidst a Bhagavatha Saptaham event that was being organised at our samithi in which my mother was actively involved as the mahila co coordinator. It was a major shock to our entire family and overnight, my life was in utter shambles. My mother had taught me since my childhood that Swami would always protect His devotees; then how could my mother have such a tragic end and that too when she was actively participating in God’s work? This was the question that I had in my mind. Till then I had only read and heard about the experiences of devotees who were miraculously saved by Bhagawan. My dad, my elder brother and I could turn only to Swami for the strength to overcome the feeling of helplessness that was thrust upon us. It took time to realize that everything that happens is ultimately for our highest good and it’s the karmic sequences carried over from previous births that brings about happy and sad situations in our lives. Gradually we gained the inner strength to move on in life.

A few months later, I conceived my child and during those days, I was terribly missing my mother. I used to cry to Bhagawan for taking away my mother from me. One night Swami came in my dream. In the dream, I was sitting near Bhagawan’s chair and I was asking Him about my mother. Then Swami showed the whole incident of the accident that took away my mother’s life and assured me that she was at peace with Him. I then conveyed to Bhagawan about my fear of bringing up my kid without the help of my mother. The reply which Bhagawan whispered in my ears is still the source of energy that drives my life. He said, “It is not your child. My child, My child, My child!” My daughter is six years now and as Swami had assured, I never had to cry for lack of mother’s care.  Whenever I was in agony, He sent some near and dear ones, at the nick of the time to pour His pristine love through them. Thus I was assured that SAI MAA was with me always. The love showered by my divine mother over powered the love of physical mother.

 

THE DESIRE TO BE PART OF HIS MISSION GETS FULFILLED

I heard about the subtle phenomenon of Bhagawan from my cousin sisters who live in Dubai. We had grown up together participating in all Samithi activities and for us everything was Swami. The enthusiasm with which they were narrating the mission of subtle form and the continuing ‘leelas’ of our Lord brought tears in my eyes. I needed no more testimonies. I too wished to be part of the ‘Sai Hridayam’ group in UAE carrying out tremendous service activities in this mission as per the direct guidance of Lord Himself. I cursed my misfortune as I was in India and I was not aware of any likeminded people nearby who accepted the subtle form of Swami. All I could do was to hear in awe the experiences shared by my cousin sisters.

In May 2015, my husband got an opportunity to relocate to Dubai and thus he too became an active member of Sai Hridayam family. I started to read the Sai Uvacha series and was dumbfounded to know the magnificence with which Swami was heading towards the golden age through His chosen instruments. I always felt that I was not fortunate enough to serve Him in this mission although I was aware of this subtle phenomenon. But, His delays are not always His denials! He takes no time in answering any prayer that is pure and selfless. I got a message from the same cousin sister in Dubai, asking me if I was interested in transcribing the divine discourses. I was overwhelmed with joy that I needed no time to give her an affirmative answer. It was a golden opportunity for me to be a part of His mission in some way. Thus I started doing transcription under the guidance of Mrs. Shobhna Gupta, who was the mentor of Dubai Sai Hridayam family. The joy I derive doing the transcription is boundless. Listening to His words is like a shower of bliss! It takes only a moment for Bhagawan to strengthen the seeds of devotion in the well prepared fields of our hearts. Bhagawan has on several occasions given us the divine assurance, “You do my work, I will take care of your work”. While transcribing Bhagawan’s discourses, I often wondered how His words exactly resonated with the thoughts I had at that moment.  It clearly happens to be a message Bhagawan wants to convey to me during that juncture in my life.

Ever since I started to do this seva, I have felt the guidance from Bhagawan in the form of messages in books or through inner voice. He guides me when I approach Him even for mundane day to day activities, like once I was unclear as to which driving school I should choose as most of the driving schools at my place are known for very rude trainers. I prayed to Swami to guide me when I heard an inner voice stating the driving school I should opt for and needless to say I have had a pleasant experience at the driving school. This is one of the numerous instances I have had where I could connect to Him through silence and sincere prayer. “Ask and it shall be given”, whenever you pray fervently with sincerity, Swami is always there to respond.

One night, as I was undergoing a moment of turmoil in my personal life, I felt completely helpless and was crying in despair. Suddenly, there was strong smell of Vibhuti in my room. My body was shivering and I could feel Swami’s presence beside me. In an instance my mind calmed down and I could feel a sense of peace settling inside me. Bhagawan’s assurance that He is always with us, in us, around us is amply testified by innumerable experiences by each and every one of us. Even then at times, pessimism and helplessness dawns on us. But then our Mother Sai, the embodiment of Supreme love, compassionately lifts us and gives the strength to move on.

MY FIRST DARSHAN OF SWAMI IN HIS SUBTLE FORM

In July 2016, I accompanied my aunt and cousin sister, as part of ‘Sai Hridayam’ to attend the Guru Poornima celebrations at Muddenahalli. It was my first darsan of Subtle Sai. I was seated at Premamrutham hall along with the members of ‘Sai Hridayam’ group. My silent prayer then to Swami was to reassure me that He was always with me. At the very first glimpse of His darshan, tears rolled down my eyes as it used to be earlier during the darshan of Swami at Prashanti Nilayam. It was the inauguration of “Veena Vahini” project and Swami was distributing boxes of Vibhuthi to the devotees sitting near the pathway. I wasn’t seated near the pathway but then as Swami reached near me and looked straight into my eyes, I held my hand out and with a twinkling smile, when He tossed a box into my hands. In bliss, I experienced the nectarine love of a mother welcoming her child!

Obstacles and obstructions come in myriad forms but now Swami has taught me how to walk in times of crisis carrying Him in my heart which gives me strength to overcome any hurdle in life. I am so grateful to my Lord for granting me a privileged opportunity to be a part of a group that is spreading the profound glory of this mission. I pray to Bhagawan from the bottom of my heart to bestow upon me the inner strength to make best use of this golden opportunity.

Jai Sai Ram!

Lakshmi Rahul.