It has been ten years since the last time I was at Baba in Puttaparthi. Unfortunately, health problems of my late wife prevented us to continue a long tradition of going to our beloved Swamiji. Late last year, I lost my best friend, my wife, with whom I spent a little more than 50 years of common life. The whole world crashed at the time. The days have become all the same: sad, empty, monotonous. I’ve lost the will to live, the need to hang out with nice people and I became indifferent to what is happening around me.
My good friend sent me an email in which she said that a delegation from Puttaparthi is coming to Zagreb and that was all I knew at the time. I immediately applied myself to the address that was written in the mail. After a very short time, I received a confirmation that my application for the event is accepted. Unfortunately, that was not the case with my friend and her husband.
With great anticipation and excitement I waited on April 22nd 2015 as if I knew that that day will happen something beautiful, something wonderful, and something that will change my whole life. In fact, I was not longer alive; there wasn’t any glimmer of optimism or lust for life in me. I lost what was my favourite and most beautiful in life. I lost the love of my life, and a life without love is not life.
I do not know how long I will stay in this body since I turned 73, but I know April 22nd 2015 I will never forget. It was the day when I met the beloved Baba again and felt His love and His warmth. From the mouth of a young man Baba’s beautiful loving words were running. These were exactly the same words that I heard for years when I was in Puttaparthi. At one point it seemed like Baba is standing next to me saying: “Do not grieve for the body of a loved one because her soul is here. You have not done your job here, and you still have much more to do.” Then, suddenly, one grey and insignificant day (like every other) became beautiful. The sun shined in me, a light appeared, the light that brings love, joy and hope. Baba was next to me, He was here and it was like He is giving me His hand and pulling me out of the darkness and sadness in which I was till then. He gave me a beautiful smile, the one that only He always had, warm smile full of love, understanding and compassion. In that moment I felt enormous relief. My eyes filled with tears and I was ecstatic because I met Baba again. I met my Father, Mother, Friend, and all that He embodies. Despite the great loss I realized that I’m not alone, I realized that Baba is here next to me and that He shows me the way and gives me boundless Grace.
I have no desires for a long time, and after the re-encounter with Baba here in Zagreb, my only wish is to serve Him more and better. I believe he will continue to show me the right way to go.
Osman Hasanpašić, Croatia